The Foolproof Guide To A Perfect Relationship | misskookie's Blog
I think I had an epiphany. I’ve been reading and pondering on both Steve Harvey’s and Karrine Steffans’ books on love and relationships and I realized something that I consider to be quite profound.
Women are raised believing in fairytales. We believe that we have a soul mate somewhere out there. Some smart women, myself included, prepare ourselves for him by poring over every relationship article in magazines, novels and by swapping the same old tales that have been passed down to us. And we hope and we pray that the day he comes, we’ll be wise enough to know how to keep him, and more importantly how to keep him happy.
But a few days ago, while I was brushing my teeth of all times, I realized something. I don’t know whether it was the words from the books I read echoing in my head or if I just had a light bulb moment. Karrine once said that even when you marry him, no man can ever be yours. He remains an individual. That “my man” mentality really screws up. I know; it’s happened to me. She also said in a different chapter that she could not give a foolproof list to the perfect blowjob, since all men like different things.
Ha ha, I know you’re definitely thinking I’m loco but maybe a few of you can see where I’m going with this. There is no foolproof list to the perfect relationship. No book has all the pearls of wisdom; no one person knows it all. And if you do happen to grab all these little tidbits of wisdom being thrown at you from all these different sources, you still have no guarantee of a perfect relationship. Sure, you’ve definitely increased the odds of your relationship surviving, but you still will never be able to kick up your feet and say “Well, that’s it. I will always have a blissful relationship.” Cause even then the man will not belong to you. No matter what you do, he will always be an individual who CHOOSES to stay with you because he wants to, and not because you wear sexy lingerie every night, or you always meet him at the door when he comes home or whatever.
No matter how perfect you are, no matter how good of a girlfriend you are, your man will never be your property. For the third time, he will always be an individual. And whether he stays with you or not, you’ll never know. Who can fully understand an individual? I’m sure you don’t even fully understand yourself 100%, 100% of the time.
If you’re anything like me, right now you’re fed up. You spend all this time learning and storing all this information only to realize it doesn’t come with a guarantee!? But after I thought about, I realized it’s actually a huge relief. Say what now? Ha ha, see the thing is that I’m a perfectionist. I hold myself to high standards and I get quite disappointed when I let myself down. When a relationship ends, I have to be careful not to blame myself. I once blamed myself for my ex cheating on me multiple times, but that was when I had issues with my self worth. So knowing that if one of my relationships ever ends, it wasn’t wholly my fault is a huge, huge relief.
Women are trained to believe in The One and that if we lose him, chances are that you’ll never find someone else like him. When you make a mistake and he leaves, you blame yourself. Or at least that’s what I used to do. So remembering that he’s an individual who chooses to stay with you and chooses to leave absolves you of some of the blame.
Sorry, I think that I started rambling a little. :) My point is, and I reiterate, there is no foolproof list to the perfect relationship. No book has all the pearls of wisdom; no one person knows it all. And if you do happen to grab all these little tidbits of wisdom being thrown at you from all these different sources, you still have no guarantee of a perfect relationship. Sure, you’ve definitely increased the odds of your relationship surviving, but you still will never be able to kick up your feet and say “Well, that’s it. I will always have a blissful relationship.
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The Foolproof Guide To A Perfect Relationship, posted February 12th, 2013
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